Week 11

I had a very interesting conversation with my roommates this week. One of my roommates, let's call him Joe, has a group of guy friends who are all very conservative close minded people when it comes to gender roles and stereotypes. Now, Joe does not share these close-minded and backwards viewpoints. My other roommate, let's call her Katie, and myself have been becoming continually aggravated by the topics of conversations that exist when this group of guys are in our home. They often make snide and crude comments about women that they would like to sleep with. Though these comments are not directed specifically toward Katie and I, we both find it profoundly insulting. This is the first time in my life that I have ever been around boys, they are certainly not men, who have thought about women like this. I come from a very liberal background and from a household that has a great deal of respect for both sexes as well as people of varying sexualities. The other night Katie and I got upset about this and finally said something to this group of guys. We also both come from backgrounds that have taught us to stand up for yourself if you feel disrespected in anyway. After the boys left Joe went up to Katie, and told her that snapping at them was not worth it and that it puts him in the middle of the confrontation since they are his friends. Needless to say a larger discussion arouse out of this. Joe, though he has opinions about all of these topics, is a rather passive person when it comes to 'touchy subjects' and it took about an hour to explain to him why we would not tolerate that type of behavior, to an extent, and why we were going to say something. At one point, Joe said something to the extent of, 'well sometimes guys just want to have a guys night and talk about stuff like that and sometimes you guys want to have a girls night' in order to explain why that behavior goes on. However, Katie and I sitting on the couch and watching the tv show that we would like to watch has nothing to do with disrespecting anyone. Also, I understand that behavior, like Joe, was describing happen constantly, but when you come into someone else's home you must have respect for them and treat them with such. This group of boys have both political and religious view that I neither share nor particularly agree with. However, I have never once said anything which would disrespect or negate these views, because they are allowed to believe whatever they would like. I just do not understand why the concept of mutual and universal respect is not understood in so many situations. I also think it is extremely important for every person to stand up for themselves when they are being disrespected. This does not mean yelling but explaining to someone why that is not ok and why, without any violent reaction. Without this nothing will ever change, and people do not have a right to be upset about it.